increase your libido
In a woman’s busy life sex drive can sometimes be hard to find, elusive even. Yet feeling tuned in and turned on gives women the spring in their step and a reason to get out of the bed in the morning. Here are 5 ways to increase your libido.
fears of intimacy
Here is a story of a friend who overcame her fear of physical intimacy. Shari had been with her husband for many years and through a series of events, ended up sleeping on her own. She loved her husband and when the children left home she felt it was time to build a new relationship with her husband but didn’t know how to get past her barriers regarding physical intimacy.
Why is that when we get into the bedroom with our men, we clam up? Its like we expect men to be mind readers and just “know” what we like and how to make love with us. Actually love making takes a lot of skill and every woman is different in the way she likes to be loved. So how do we communicate what we want?
There are several factors that go largely unnoticed by us in our daily lives that affect our hormones, often more that we may realize. Xenoestrogens, and other short path estrogen from plastics, pollutants the atmosphere etc. Not to mention medications, eg the birth control pill which technically is simulating the hormone balance that makes your body think you are pregnant. As well, as soon as you start taking the pill your body stops the release of eggs from the ovaries making your body think it is the same age as when you started taking the pill.
5 ways to enjoy sex more
- Set the scene with candles, a bath, music, good food.
- Get in the mood. Play some music that makes you feel sensual and dance. It will shift you out of work and into being a lover.
- Riding the wave of orgasm can be done! The Sex Bible by Susan Crain Bakos says “Extended orgasms are more likely to occur when you have time for slow, languorous lovemaking – the kind of sex that keeps you feeling “on the verge” for a long time. This is a “slowie,” not a quickie.” She goes on to explain that you need to move slowly, breathe deeply, resisting the temptation for hard and fast thrusting and staying at the point of almost there. “ The longer you stay on the verge, the longer the orgasm will be.”
- Wear an outfit that you feel sexy in. Sometimes we choose an outfit that we think he will like but feel very uncomfortable in it.Take it off, it will kill your desire. Find something you feel comfortable, confident and sexy wearing.
- Slow down. Play with him a bit. Men love the chase so don’t make sex too easy to get. Its your call whether there’s going to be sex, let him work for it a bit. Being elusive is very sexy for both of you, it builds the energy and extends the pleasure.
sexuality health tips
Protect your self:
Make sure you are protected. STDs are on the rise and getting one is an unpleasant experience in the least. Don’t leave it to chance, check it out first. If your partner has other lovers take responsibility for your health and use a condom.
Look for signs of low oestrogen:
If you find intercourse painful and it is difficult to get juicy, it could be that you are low in oestrogen. This thins the lining of your vagina and causes painful sex. By the way – Oestrogen is your happy hormone.
Sex while menstruating:
If you are menstruating and want to have sex, try using a diaphragm to dam up the menstrual fluids. This works well if you have a medium to light flow. Remove the diaphragm after sex and wash. (within 3 hours).
Lubrication can be a problem during sex. Once a woman gets dry her genitals become sore very quickly and she will no longer want to have sex. Keep some Sylk lubricant or a cold pressed unscented vegetable oil on hand if things dry up. Plain yoghurt is nice to use too.
How do you know if your progesterone levels are okay? Low progesterone causes a large number of PMT symptoms, as well as miscarriages. After ovulation your at rest temperature changes by 0.5 degrees Celsius (1 degree Fahrenheit) and stays up until just before your period. There are fourteen days between ovulation and your period – if there are less than 12 days or more than 16 days then this is another indication your progesterone might be out of balance.